The Unix Pestilence: MySQL

By Xah Lee. Date:

Dear BR,

you wrote:

What are you reading? MySQL supports the ANSI SQL92 standard almost in its entirety … something that other larger (read: more expensive) systems don't even claim to do … (this is from memory so don't flame me if I'm a little off).

Apparently, methinks that you've been brainwashed by unix a bit. Let me take a random guess: you've been using unix for quite a while, haven't you?

MySQL, along with unix, c, shell, perl, php, apache, cvs … are the unspeakably hideous “thing” that claims itself being a good technology whereas in fact they are the most condensed piss possible.

The debate of MySQL runs in every unix discussion group, and basically there is no way to convince those who has already been brain-washed by unix the hideousness of MySQL. For those serious, please read:

Perhaps MySQL is a dorky database that can be rather suitable for those who don't need real database features but rather just want to store small time data piecemeal instead of using files. But No! My position on MySQL is that it is a crime. Those who abide by it are criminals of the computing society. These are the people who harbor the thought that it is all right for software to crash or malfunction, that software is too complex and is all right to have bugs. These are the people why today's software are hated by their users.

The author of MySQL, Monty Widenius, along with Larry Wall, Linus Torvald and friends, are assholes of inordinate measure. On the surface, they are these happy-go-lucky jovial and kind types who contribute to society, whereas in fact they are sloven _liars_ who peddle their _brainless hack_ and self esteem to get themselves ahead, ruthless about the harm they do to the computing community. These are the crackpots in the computing world. Ask me and i'll show you my past essays on this matter.

[Disclaimer: All mention of real persons are opinion only.]

Here are some articles by other people on MySQL:

If you have a question, put $5 at patreon and message me.

  1. Unixer Plain-Text Email Fetish
  2. Unixers, RFC, and Perl
  3. Unix and the mbox Email Format
  4. Unix, RFC, Line Truncation
  5. Idiocy Of Unix Copy Command
  6. The Elements Of Style: UNIX As Literature
  7. On Unix Filename Characters Problem
  8. Unix And Literary Correlation
  9. What's the Max Number of Directories a Directory Can Have?
  10. Rob Pike on the Origin of Dot File Names
  11. Unix, Security, and FTP
  12. Is Mac OS X Unix?
  13. The Unix Pestilence: MySQL
  14. Mac OS X SSH Session Disconnection
  15. Mac OS X Changes To Unix
  16. On Microsoft Hatred